So hey, here's what I look like. Took this at work today (about an hour ago). And it just made me smile, first good picture in a long time, feel like I could see a glimpse of what I would look like when I lost the weight I want to lose. Feeling good about myself lately, not sure why but not fighting it. Maybe Jared visiting helps.

And I'm Feeling Good

And in to the MUSE song we go.

Anyway, just feeling good today. Wanted to share that with you guys (or myself at this point). Went to the gym and the spinning class didn't kill me. Granted I could have edged up the resistance until it did but I did more than usual and I was feeling good. Like I worked hard bu I was able to do it, which feels amazing.

I was getting things in math, and I had all my homework in on time, and I don't have work tomorrow morning so I can hit the gym a little earlier. I've a lot of studying to do for next week but I'm taking it one day ay a time and feeling good.

Also, managed to find time to do my hair this morning. Finally got down finger waves and I looked really good ^__^ Got a lot of compliments, and that's what it's all about. Excited about losing weight, and just thinking about Jared and I being together and I was excited. Gonna go relax a little more and maybe get a little studying in. Thank you God for being so great and giving me reasons to be happy.

Goal Weight #1...

Completed. Like a boss.

Woke up today unable to find my permit, which really sucks. I can't even comprehend how bad losing your drivers permit is until someone else takes it, takes my name, my credit, and my boyfriend's house.

/panic

So trying to get over that. Have to go order a new one and hope no one looks like me who's a thief.

ID Theft aside, I'm officially at my first goal weight. This is pretty big. I haven't lost twenty pounds yet, but, I finally got out of that bracket I felt trapped in for years. The 170-180s. Hello 169 baby, welcome to my life. (And for the record I'm 5'7", so I wasn't a spherical blob before).

Gonna hopefully get some studying done at work today, and hit the gym after school. Wish me luck and pray that I at least lost my ID in the good part of town. ;_;


Edit: I would be no where without the practical people on Yahoo Answers. <3

If You Want Something You Never Had

You have to do something you've never done.

1mt; 1mt

What the ****, NYU type people...

If anyone watches Philly D, you'd get the title. If not, then I'd recomend you go give Philip Defranco (on YouTube) a shot.


Anywho, going under an alias, not sure if I want to share personal info and have it linked back to me. But generally I just wanted a place to shoot out my thoughts. At the moment, I'm in a community college, a youth group leader at my church, a for serious girlfriend for a long time, and a bunch of other things. And at the moment is, I'm going through a change. What kind of change? I dunno.

But I know, sorta trying hard leaves you just short enough of something amazing.

This is where I'm at now. See, I want to go to Cooper Union (NYU) for chemical engineering. OR, Tulsa University for their Cyber Corps program for forensics (the boyfriend lives in Oklahoma). And while I've always had a 90 average in high school without trying, and while I've had about fifty dollars in the bank but a new laptop and old iPhone, and I weigh just enough to be healthyish, and my relationship with God is average at best,... there's a lit of just enough's going on here, and getting by's and I'm tired of that.

I want something amazing. In fact, I damn near crave it.

So I'm making a list of things I need to do. I like lists, by the way.

• Being to spend time with God. Really try. (This wasn't even the first thing on my mind, but as someone who is Christian and knows better, that's gotta change; this is a personal thing, please, spare me the hate mail).
• Work hard at the gym, go past my comfort zone, go past the minimum. Get some kind of organized plan going there.
• Actually study for the SATs, (I'm re-taking them). 
• Do my absolute best in school, not just good enough for a B+
• Make time for my friends, don't let a busy schedule get in the way. And make time for the boyfriend, cause he's my best friend. 
• Be healthy, and make time to focus on my appearance. Not every day can be a chill day.

Anywho this is it for now, got homework to do and a headache to kill.