In his car with that new license, driving around all the pretty parts of town that only he knows. And you're listening to a mix of music you both are into, from the Stones to Coldplay and that one good MGMT song. Who else even knows who Mick Jagger is anymore- aside from any Ke$ha song. And you're signing to yourself, taking mental notes of all these cool places, get some fries and a burger and drive around some more. And you think, when you get home, damn.
When my boyfriend comes to town, I'll have to show him all these cool places my friend showed me. Jared's car is pretty sweet, and he absolutely loves the outdoors (unlike his city dwelling girlfriend). But it's been unsaid so far that the boyfriend lives in Oklahoma. And I in NYC. And it's draining. So during weak moments, I enjoy these movie perfect car rides, and that cute guy from school with the long hair, that guy who flirted with me at work. And I think how if things were different, if I wasn't with someone, and if I was skinnier, and more confident, and from a better part of town then maybe things would be different.
But how ridiculous is that?
So these weak moments of mine are like poison to my happiness, because when I get home and think, I remember how lucky I am to be with Jared. He loves me as I am, all of me, even the heavier me before I started losing weight even when I was a complete nerd at thirteen. Him and I have been together (on and off, mostly on) for five years. I'm only 18, and he's 20. I could completely see myself spending my whole life with him, having kids and our own house. The distance makes it so hard, but you want to know something really special? After about twenty minutes with him, either on the phone/skype, I fall right back in love with him, and I feel strong again, and that's special. So just wanted to remind myself about what path I'm chosing, even if I had good moment with a friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment